Make-up

I went looking for makeup yesterday. I don't wear a whole lot of it, but as I get older...YIKES..I'm needing it more and more. The sales lady was looking at my face as if she was trying to memorize every crack and crevice. Then the conversation started to flow:

Her: "So "people" with thin lips shouldn't wear dark lipsick." Apparently I have thin lips.

Me: "OK"

Her: "Did you want to cover up those freckles?" Apparently I should.

Me: "I guess. Sure."

Her: "Good!" Apparently she likes my decision and hates my freckles.

She continued talking about her "beauty" secrets in a "I'm saving the world by telling you these things" kind of way; like if I didn't absorb these tips and employ them as my own, I would look like an ugly frog in the near future. I wanted to croak on her at that point, but instead I gathered my "not too pink for my face according to make up lady" blush, shimmering eye shadow and creamy mousse foundation that wont age my dehydrated face any further, and scrammed out of the place!

Thanks, Thanks and More Thanks

LESSON OF THE DAY: There's a million little things to be thankful for!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I spent the day eating (0f course), but also generating reasons for why I am thankful. In general, they were silly but I realized that every five seconds I was thankful for something else! It was almost like thinking of Facebook status updates throughout the day. My mind must be in the habit of a constant flowing internal commentary on everything that I am thinking and doing. And today it was a constant flowing internal commentary of what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for OnStar because without them, I'd be hitchhiking a few times a week. I am so distracted throughout the day (due to my constant flowing internal commentary of course) that I lock my keys in the car quite often. I used to have to call the husband, which didnt go over well from the beginning of the bad habit, and could have led to him leaving me where I was stranded by the end, but then OnStar came along and saved me and my marriage. Now I just call the number on my window, talk to the nice British lady who answers the phone, give her my 4 letter password, and VIOLA', the door unlocks. Genuis!

Here's another interesting one that popped into my head today as I walked around my kitchen. I am thankful for having a robe with a pocket because it allows me to carry my Iphone around when I wear it. Very handy, but what I dumb thought. Only I know where it comes from because I am slightly obsessed with my lovely Iphone.

My husband is not a cook at all, although he told me today that his "inner cook" is dying to come out. Come out, come out! I'd love to see it a few times a week! The kids can ask him what's for dinner and complain that they are STARVING as soon as 4PM hits. So today I was very thankful that he decided to carry on his 1 year tradition of making us Thanksgiving breakfast. Well, now a two year tradition. He actually put out a nice meal with some coaching from me and assistance locating various utensils that were unnecessary really; a whisk for the eggs (use a fork), a spatula to stir the fruit (use a spoon), but whatever, I think using them made his "inner cook" feel really cool. I was very thankful for this break from cooking and the serious laugh that came with it. He made us rate the food from 1-10 in three categories: Food Temperature (he knows I like my food super hot, just slightly cooler than what will scald your mouth), Food Appearance (yes, honey, the eggs were really yellow, but was that your doing or the chicken's) and the last category was Food Taste. And it tasted good, but more important, he made it with lots of love and to start a special day for us. And he even cleaned up!

Now I'm just really thankful for Tums because I ate so much I might pop.

The Vow to Procrastinate

THE VOW OF THE DAY: Make sure when you are trying not to procrastinate, you aren't actually procrastinating!!

Today I vow to write in this blog at least three times a week. It's not that I don't like writing in my blog, in fact, I do. I have been so busy lately that I avoid things that I like to do because it feels "wrong" to do things I like if I have other things to do that I don't like. Does that make any sense? Almost like I am trying to keep myself from procrastinating while actually procrastinating! So enough procrastinating and on with the writing!!

The Life with Bugs

LESSON OF THE DAY: Listerine does more than just freshen your breath.

Oh brother, a terrible fear of mine became reality today. My 6 year old daughter was diagnosed with head lice. Not pretty, not fun. All the usual things came to mind: people are going to think we're dirty slobs, what am I going to do if all four kids get it (who will pick the nits out of my head if I have it), and last, this is the end of my and my children's social life!

I attacked the problem "head on," ready to divide each section of her hair and conquer. I went and bought a variety of products (basically if it had the word "lice killing" on it, I bought it), took my poor baby home, and got to work. I used one of the recommended brands of lice pesticide products, and followed the directions in all of its detail. Boy did her hair look

gorgeous after the four hours I spent pic

king out the nits, one at a time, by hand. I put her hair in a ponytail and breathed a sigh of relief. No more bugs in her hair. Granted, I had "loads" of work ahead of me (laundry), but she had been an angel through it all and I had motivated her to be patient while I nit picked (wow, I just discovered why they use that term!!). She loved the pet store so off we went in her cute and very clean ponytail, or so I thought.

The kids played around with the dogs and picked out some things for the fish and as we paid, I

looked down at her and I saw a live bug crawling through her hair! All my hard work down the drain (or literally so I had hoped)! I flew home faster than the speed of light, all the while plotting my next course of treatment. A friend of mine told me to use Listerine with a shower cap for two hours. It was worth a try. And the try was worth it because after drenching her hair with Listerine and wrapping it in a ziplock bag (I don't own a shower cap), I found 3 more dead lice in her hair. It's gross isnt it? After that, I rinsed her hair in vinegar because that loosens the glue on the nit so you can comb them out more easily. Then we slept with olive in our hair overnight. It seems these home remedies are more effective than the chemical pesticides (in my opinion).

(I bought a big bottle of Listerine and put her head over the sink and applied. Ziplock bag and let her sit in it for as long as she could, which was 30 minutes. I washed it out and then applied warm, white vinegar, combed out nits and had her sleep in olive oil. Research shows that the lice smother in olive oil after 2 hours.

It Makes Ya Think

LESSON OF THE DAY: You never stop learning. It never hurts to be reminded of the important things in life either.

We took the kids pumpkin picking the other day, and then to lunch. It was crazy that morning and I was a little frustrated with the kids. I was feeling like I wasn't doing a very good job as a mother; the kids weren't listening and there was constant bickering between them. During lunch the "issues" continued: Ryan was eating more than his share of fries, Molly's ice cream cone fell on the floor and she was frantic about it, and one of the kids decided she didn't like her choice of meal once it was brought to the table. Amidst all of this, I'm in my own little world dealing with this craziness, trying to remain calm. I then happen to notice an elderly lady and man sitting near us. This woman was at least 80, and what I assumed to be her husband, was the same. The reason she caught my eye, and the reason I continued to observe her, was because she was staring at me. Staring at me and mumbling. After a few minutes I decided to stare back, but she would not break her gaze. Everything I said she took in, everything I did, she watched, commenting softly to her husband. I was getting a bit irritated and unnerved by her, and started to feel like she was judging me and my parenting and my children. It's just the way my day was going. The lunch lasted a few more minutes, and she continued to stare and mumble. It was as we left that I realized why she was so taken in with my family. I brushed by her table to leave, holding my kids' hands, and as I did she said loudly and clearly, "What a nice mom. She's so patient and kind with her children." She began to cry, and said angrily to her husband, "We should have treated our children like that!" I was floored. I looked back at her and she had tears streaming down her face. I wanted to run up to her and tell her all the bad things I had done as a parent, to diminish some of her inadequacy. Tell her what I want to hear sometimes, "You did the best you could. Nobody's perfect!"

I can't stop thinking about her, and feeling sympathetic to her regrets. I never want to look back with regret, as she does. I can't help but think the incident happened to help me keep my focus as a parent, and remind me what important labor it really is to parent. Everyday, no matter how tired, bored, overwhelmed, distracted I may be, I have to do my best. This woman's regret was a very powerful reminder of that.

Halloweening

This is basically how I feel about Halloween.

It's the spookiest time of the year and so much fun for the kids, but in my opinion it is a big PITA, if you know what I mean. Trying to make all those Hallmark moments out of this holiday is a joke! Pumpkin carving turns into an ER visit. Trying to choose a costume for mulitple kids at Party City turns into tears and tantrums for all of us. The costume itches, it's too hot to wear, too stiff to move in, or they want to wear half of it. It's one disaster after another. Quick, get a picture of baby in the sunflower costume before she rips the petals off her head and looks like a stuffed pepper!

Here's a great Halloween song though:

iTunes Store - Maura Matlak - Halloween - Single

Ryan Makes It Big (But Still Doesn't Know It Yet)!

Lesson of the Day: Sometimes things you say will come back to haunt you, especially if it ends up in writing!


Sometimes the fact that I make things up out of sheer desperation to get my kids to behave comes back at me. Things like, if you don't brush your teeth they'll fall out; if you don't wash your hair the bugs will want to live in there and, of course, there's the old seasonal trick, "Santa is WATCHING you: (beat your sister up)(tease your brother)(not listen) so you better stop." I try to stretch the use of this very effective threat from late August through January (Santa can come always come back and take toys away, after Christmas, you know).

One day I used this threat a bunch of times (in an hour), and later found a letter that my son, Ryan, wrote to Santa. AND......the letter ended up on the Chelsea Lately show! This show is hysterical due to the fabulous writing and producing of head-writer Tom Brunelle. Check the show out on E! weekdays at 11:00 PM. Thanks to Tom for airing the letter and bringing a laugh to our family's holidays 2008!

9/11 Remembrance

Lesson of the Day: One of the gifts that comes out of tragedy is that people come together.

I couldnt let this day go by without a simple rememberance of that powerful day that made us realize our vulnerability in the universe. The heavy sadness that filled our hearts, minds and souls. We reached out to others for comfort; experiencing the devastation in one common human way, together. I somehow felt close to everyone I met along my path days those days afterward; friends, acquantances and strangers alike, and took on the hurt of the families as if I lost a loved one as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n13CU-NvPMU

How Deep Is Your Love?

LESSON OF THE DAY: Be prepared for any answer when you ask a question. And don't ask a question if you don't want the answer!

It's interesting how children try to quantify love, isnt it? They hold out arms, "I love you thiiiiis much." Or "I love you more than the whole world!" The kids and I started talking about this one day, and it was funny the different responses, but so typical of each age.
How much do you love Mommy?

Molly (4), "One world, that's it!" I guess to a 4 year old, one world seems big enough.

Meredith (6), "Nine hundred worlds." Always trying to beat out little sister.

Ryan (9), "100 points out of 100 points. An A+" Answer indictative of the Science test he got back that day.

Madeline (12), with the look of someone who just took a sip of spoiled milk. "WHAT? Why are you asking me that?!!" Trying to maintain "coolness" because she's 12!

**I love to hear answers to this question. Ask your kids, and if anything is especially funny, let me know! ****

That Beach Bum!!

LESSON OF THE DAY: It's easier to carry all the crap than drag the kids!

I always felt bad that Brad was always the one who lugs all the bags to and from the beach. He packs the bags, the cooler, the towels in the car. He lugs the bags, the cooler, the chairs onto the beach and off the beach. Poor guy. Today, I realized he was the smart one! My usual task is to lug the KIDS on and off the beach. Four of them. Bags don't pull you back with all their might to get you to stay somewhere. Coolers don't drop to the ground when you try to pick them up. Beach chairs don't run in the other direction when you call them to leave. Towels don't cry and whine that they want to stay!

Barack My World: Our Day with the Obamas (well not quite, but almost)

LESSON OF THE DAY: Forget the clean underwear. Make sure when you leave the house in the morning, you have on a great shirt and some spectacular earrings. You just never know when you could be on national tv!

Not thinking about the fact the Obamas were vacationing in Oak Bluffs, we made our way over to Martha's Vineyard on the ferry. It was crazy from the start to finish; helicopters flying over, newscasters everywhere, "I vacationed at MV with Obamas" t-shirts hanging in every shop window. Creative food names on chalkboards set out on side walks like; "Obamaritas," "Barack-O-Tacos," "Presidential Beers." I had the "Barack My World" ice cream: coffee ice cream, Macadamia nuts and caramel swirl.

Mannequins dressed up like Barack and Michelle and messages to them on windows, "You can eat for free Sasha and Malia." Free?? This made my 6 year old mad! "Why can they eat for free but we have to pay and who are those girls anyway?" At least they are paying for their own home rental though- $35,000 a week!

We were just hanging and were approached by some camera men from NBC. I never would have expected them to use the footage! Check out Meredith doing the "Happy Dance" and Ann Curry imitating her later. My kids are so shy, aren't they?

ENJOY THE SHOW!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

"Not to be mean, but why do sea lions have the smelliest breath ever?"

LESSON OF THE DAY: Sometimes even the dumbest of questions can get you far in life.

"Not to be mean, but why do sea lions have the smelliest breath ever?"

This was the question that brought us all the way to the first ever private "Afternoon with the Sea Lions" that the Buffalo Zoo ever gave. The kids got a tour of everything sea lion: their fridge filled with food, where they sleep at night, and where they train. We got to ask some questions along the way, but the highlight was getting kissed by a sea lion!

Raising hand to ask: "I like monkeys better. Where are the monkeys?"

Raising hand to ask: "Can we go swimming with the sea lions?

Dear Maddie,

Yes, the almost 12 year old wants in on this blog thing. She knows way more than any adult of course simply because she does, and she is willing to offer answers/insight/wisdom on topics and problems relating to her age group. I myself can't wait to hear what she has to say because for 6 months, I've been listening to grunts for hellos, mumbles for goodbyes, and receive the glare meaning "Why are you asking me ANY question?" when I ask her ANY question. Shoot her a question and she'll get back to you (when she feels like it and only if I don't bug her about it).

Going to Disney with Doritos in our Denali

LESSON OF THE DAY: Sometimes junk food is necessary for survival. Dont beat yourself up over it.



I didnt realize the kids liked Doritos so much until I took them to the store to get treats for our 24 hour ride to Florida. By the end of the shopping trip, we had (only) 6 bags of Doritos in our cart. And only the Cool Ranch variety. I offered them other treats, begging them to trade in at least one bag for the Nacho Cheese variety. I was a little concerned the kids would get sick of eating Doritos and only Doritos for the 24 hour trip, but I worried for nothing. They kept the 4 year old from escaping her seat and we even had them for breakfast in the hotel!!

Did You Brush Your Teeth Yet?

LESSON OF THE DAY: You may have to repeat yourself several thousand times before people hear you.

I feel like I ask this question all the time so I wanted to figure out how many times I actually say it. Four kids, twice a day=8X each day. That's 56X a week and 224X a month and 2,688X a year. That's mind blowing, isnt it? I repeat myself two thousand six hundred and eighty eight times every year with that question alone. It's quite possible that those are the words I've said the most as a mother, if you think about it. Up for close seconds are "Say thank you," "Clean up your room," "Make your bed," "Get your fingers out of your nose," "Stop fighting" and "Please flush the toilet."

PS. One good way to get your child to allow you to help them brush their teeth is as you brush, talk about all the food you see in there; "I see apples," "I'm getting the chicken out now," or make up silly food. Also, you tell them you see friends in there and have to pull them out; like "Oh, there's Mary, I see Michael." Etc.

The Old Woman in the Shoe

LESSON OF THE DAY: Dont have so many kids that you don't know what to do.


It's not like we're Jon & Kate Plus 8 or Octomom who has kids swarming all over her house. But the question, "How many kids do I have again?" is one I ask myself everytime I am leaving somewhere and I know I brought kids with me. I know someday I will leave sans kid. I'll get in the car, get out of the lot, or maybe even get all the way home, but at some point I will drift back into reality and realize my kid is wandering the soccer field without me. It's inevitable. I bet it's a fear of many mothers....well, at least moms with lots of kids but not enough brain cells left. Has this ever happened to anyone?

Here Comes the Stamm-pede!

If the Stamm kids were animals, this is what they'd look like. Wherever they go, it seems like a huge puff of dust is left behind them. They're loud. You can hear them coming from a mile away. They plow over anything in their path.

This blog is dedicated to my beloved herd of Buffalo. This is their story.