Make-up

I went looking for makeup yesterday. I don't wear a whole lot of it, but as I get older...YIKES..I'm needing it more and more. The sales lady was looking at my face as if she was trying to memorize every crack and crevice. Then the conversation started to flow:

Her: "So "people" with thin lips shouldn't wear dark lipsick." Apparently I have thin lips.

Me: "OK"

Her: "Did you want to cover up those freckles?" Apparently I should.

Me: "I guess. Sure."

Her: "Good!" Apparently she likes my decision and hates my freckles.

She continued talking about her "beauty" secrets in a "I'm saving the world by telling you these things" kind of way; like if I didn't absorb these tips and employ them as my own, I would look like an ugly frog in the near future. I wanted to croak on her at that point, but instead I gathered my "not too pink for my face according to make up lady" blush, shimmering eye shadow and creamy mousse foundation that wont age my dehydrated face any further, and scrammed out of the place!