It Makes Ya Think

LESSON OF THE DAY: You never stop learning. It never hurts to be reminded of the important things in life either.

We took the kids pumpkin picking the other day, and then to lunch. It was crazy that morning and I was a little frustrated with the kids. I was feeling like I wasn't doing a very good job as a mother; the kids weren't listening and there was constant bickering between them. During lunch the "issues" continued: Ryan was eating more than his share of fries, Molly's ice cream cone fell on the floor and she was frantic about it, and one of the kids decided she didn't like her choice of meal once it was brought to the table. Amidst all of this, I'm in my own little world dealing with this craziness, trying to remain calm. I then happen to notice an elderly lady and man sitting near us. This woman was at least 80, and what I assumed to be her husband, was the same. The reason she caught my eye, and the reason I continued to observe her, was because she was staring at me. Staring at me and mumbling. After a few minutes I decided to stare back, but she would not break her gaze. Everything I said she took in, everything I did, she watched, commenting softly to her husband. I was getting a bit irritated and unnerved by her, and started to feel like she was judging me and my parenting and my children. It's just the way my day was going. The lunch lasted a few more minutes, and she continued to stare and mumble. It was as we left that I realized why she was so taken in with my family. I brushed by her table to leave, holding my kids' hands, and as I did she said loudly and clearly, "What a nice mom. She's so patient and kind with her children." She began to cry, and said angrily to her husband, "We should have treated our children like that!" I was floored. I looked back at her and she had tears streaming down her face. I wanted to run up to her and tell her all the bad things I had done as a parent, to diminish some of her inadequacy. Tell her what I want to hear sometimes, "You did the best you could. Nobody's perfect!"

I can't stop thinking about her, and feeling sympathetic to her regrets. I never want to look back with regret, as she does. I can't help but think the incident happened to help me keep my focus as a parent, and remind me what important labor it really is to parent. Everyday, no matter how tired, bored, overwhelmed, distracted I may be, I have to do my best. This woman's regret was a very powerful reminder of that.